Holiday bleatings

December is my favorite month of the year because it is my birthday month, and because it features Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa – a holidaypalooza! No one gets any work done all month, people eat their body weights in cookies and candy, and parents have the chance to threaten their young children with the phrase, [...]

Read Full Post »

That’s what friends are for

Facebook is a fascinating petri dish. Where else can you find people from all aspects of your life hanging out, sharing information and ribbing each other? Facebook makes it possible for people to have exchanges like this: Granted, as evidenced above, typed words and computer protection can make people say things they might not say [...]

Read Full Post »

The transformation is almost complete

“What is this, Mama?” “This, Honey, is WrestleMania.” Oh yes, it is. In a shocking metamorphosis that began with moving out to “The Country” in 2006, continued with burning trash in the backyard and attending the Redneck Games and Rattlesnake Roundup, I have become what I feared the most: a redneck. Or at least I [...]

Read Full Post »

Redneck roundup

After Trish and I went to the Redneck Games last July, I knew I had to mark my calendar for the Claxton Rattlesnake Roundup. This marvelous event, held the second weekend in March, began in 1968 in an effort to reduce the rattlesnake population in the city. Now I think they have to truck in [...]

Read Full Post »

Rednecks, Cheetos and Glenn Beck

I love that WordPress lets me know how people find my blog via search engines. For example: My posts about the annual Redneck Games, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, and rhetorical devices get the most visitors from search engines. Interesting. I talked to Trish yesterday about following up our Redneck Games extravaganza with the annual Claxton Rattlesnake [...]

Read Full Post »

A chicken comes calling

I’d like to post about Trish’s birthday weekend — also known as the Shock and Awe Safari — but I need to get photos from her. To tide you over until that post, here is an update on Shelly and Jeanne. They don’t hate me anymore, but they are still suspicious of me. (I think [...]

Read Full Post »

“She hates time, make it stop”

For reasons that should be obvious from some of my earlier posts, my anthem for this summer is Bowling For Soup’s 1999 song “1985.” These lyrics in particular really resonate with me lately: She’s seen all the classics, she knows every line Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, even St. Elmo’s Fire She rocked out to [...]

Read Full Post »

Redneck missionary work

When Trish and I were getting in my car after the Redneck Games, I noticed something stuck under my windshield. I just grabbed it and threw it in the car without looking at it. Much later, when I was about to throw it away, I actually looked at it. The headline: “Rednecks can be Christians [...]

Read Full Post »

Oh happy day!

Eddie walked in the kitchen and said, “There was a box for you on the porch.” This can only mean one thing: My Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club shipment arrived! I sprinted to the door with scissors (yes, I just admitted to running with scissors) because this shipment is extra special. I am the [...]

Read Full Post »

Words I love

I’ve mentioned words I hate in a number of posts. Lest you think I am a negative person — a hater, if you will — I have compiled a list of words I love (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com). Here they are, in no particular order: Moist (adjective): Moderately or slightly wet; damp People either love [...]

Read Full Post »