Aging gracelessly

One of the many great things about my job is that I’m sometimes off on Fridays. “Sometimes” doesn’t happen very often though. In fact, the last time was October 2010, I think. When I am off, I go to the YMCA for the line-dancing class. (Yes, I like line dancing and country music.) Eleanor, the [...]

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Apologies to Clement C. Moore

‘Twas five days before Christmas when all through our house, All creatures were stirring, except for a mouse. In Naveen’s belly* it rested, all squeezed to a pulp. (The boys loved watching the snake grab it and gulp.) The children denied attempts to put them to bed – Optimus, Bumblebee filling their heads. And I [...]

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Not quite ready for MMA*

You may have noticed in my posts about going to the dreaded gym that I had not attended a kickboxing class. And kickboxing is kind of a staple of every group class lineup. OK, I was afraid. And it seemed weird because that’s what Eddie teaches at Club SCAD. I’m not about to take one [...]

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For those about to mock (I salute you)

Gideon has been very interested in music lately, and I’ve been playing all sorts of music for him. I try to give him a little history of the song and the artist as we’re listening. I’ve been feeling very Jack Black from “School of Rock” (which I watched again today). My musical taste is all [...]

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Rejecting the rejector

My fat took the letter well, and seems to be going away quietly. At least according to the YMCA scale, which reveals that there’s five pounds less of me. Yay. The miracle of eating heathfully and exercising more. What a novel concept! Since I began my exercise class extravaganza, I’ve also invested in more appropriate [...]

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An open letter to my fat

Dear Body Fat: We’ve been inseparable for years, ever since we started hanging out while I was pregnant with my first child. I must admit that I did not like you at first, but you grew on me. Soon we started doing everything together: clothes shopping, sitting on the couch watching TV, and eating. It [...]

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The Case of the Cranky Cottonhead

I finally had a Friday off and I spent most of it going to two more group exercise classes: Pilates and Line Dancing. (In case you are counting, that makes five group sessions this week. Five!) To me, Pilates is what we used to call “calisthenics” back in the ’80s. We weren’t all fancy then. [...]

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Goldilocks and the evil chair

Working my way through the YMCA group class schedule makes me feel like a certain girl who has a fondness for bears (and breaking and entering). Stacie’s Zumba class was too fast. Bobbi’s Zumba class was too slow (and filled with snotty women). Ellen’s MVE Pilates class may be just right. I’ll still go to [...]

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The devil and the dancing hippo

Zumba is the devil. Zumba kicked my ass. Kicked. My. Ass. For those of you who don’t know, Zumba is like Broadway choreography set to Latin music. Here’s an “official” definition. Maybe the moves are “easy to follow” for the other 99.9 percent of the population, but I couldn’t even make the drill team in [...]

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“She works hard for the money”

I went to the gym today. Anyone who knows me knows that’s a big deal. I haven’t set foot in a gym (with the intention of working out) in about 15 years. It wasn’t concern for my padded hide that drove me there. It was concern for my slender wallet. We joined the YMCA this [...]

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