Smile, you’re on a blog …

… and that blog features grammar mistakes! Thanks, Rachael, for the contribution!

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Observe and report

My time in California was all about observations. I observed nature at its best. I observed punctuation at its worst. And I observed the habitats of the best and worst celebrities — at a safe distance. Yes, let’s call it “observation” and not that unpleasant other term: stalking.

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A Depend-worthy occasion

One of the greatest parts of my job — and there are many great parts — is that I get to travel to different high schools to give workshops about writing. Today, I was at Idyllwild Arts Academy to talk about writing for the Web and new media. The school reminds me of the Camp [...]

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Rejecting the rejector

My fat took the letter well, and seems to be going away quietly. At least according to the YMCA scale, which reveals that there’s five pounds less of me. Yay. The miracle of eating heathfully and exercising more. What a novel concept! Since I began my exercise class extravaganza, I’ve also invested in more appropriate [...]

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Error extravaganza

My friends have been blowing up my inbox with examples of errors in the wild. My favorite is this one from Cheryl and Steph: They’ll eat anything in Hartsville, S.C., apparently. Heidi, Elizabeth and Rachel sent this one: It is a cornucopia of apostrophe and quotation mark misuse. Finally, Charlotte (an always-reliable source of fodder [...]

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An open letter to my fat

Dear Body Fat: We’ve been inseparable for years, ever since we started hanging out while I was pregnant with my first child. I must admit that I did not like you at first, but you grew on me. Soon we started doing everything together: clothes shopping, sitting on the couch watching TV, and eating. It [...]

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Parenting 101

Perhaps I’m too strict. Or perhaps I had kids late enough in life that I remember that people without kids don’t usually like to be bothered by kids. And sometimes even people with kids don’t like to be bothered by kids. Eddie and I do not let our children run amok in restaurants. We refuse [...]

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The Case of the Cranky Cottonhead

I finally had a Friday off and I spent most of it going to two more group exercise classes: Pilates and Line Dancing. (In case you are counting, that makes five group sessions this week. Five!) To me, Pilates is what we used to call “calisthenics” back in the ’80s. We weren’t all fancy then. [...]

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Goldilocks and the evil chair

Working my way through the YMCA group class schedule makes me feel like a certain girl who has a fondness for bears (and breaking and entering). Stacie’s Zumba class was too fast. Bobbi’s Zumba class was too slow (and filled with snotty women). Ellen’s MVE Pilates class may be just right. I’ll still go to [...]

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Murder, she wrote

Convicted serial killer accused of fifth slaying From Staff Reports BLOOMINGDALE, Ga. — Convicted serial killer Maggie The Dog is the only suspect in the murder of Shelly The Chicken. Shelly’s father, Eddie Concepción, found the bird’s body Sunday night in the back yard of the family home. Maggie’s younger sister, Mona The Dog is [...]

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